#“should I tell her it was a suicide | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mothshrub · 28 days ago

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If I was Emily I would've been crapping myself, ngl.

#control #control remedy #emily pope #jesse faden #“should I tell her it was a suicide? Nah”

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silusvesuius · 7 months ago

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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am

#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils #but it's ok i just needed a nap #something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me #wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas #something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh #i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn #(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e #i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real #i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel #also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay #is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level #when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU #look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it #at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal

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trans-leek-cookie · 3 months ago

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listen I'm not gonna be a Curly apologist he did Fucked Up as captain but I genuinely recommend ppl watch a playthru that goes thru the game in chronological order. It kinda helps clear up the events and gaps between them, bc even tho u See the times, you still experience it out of order.

The stuff Anya says definitely sets off alarm bells but it doesn't seem like he Fully Understands what she means, and I'm going to be 100% honest I think she was trying to repress it herself. This isn't to say that she is AT ALL "at fault" for what happened after and she should've gotten help even if she wasn't ready to fully discuss the issue but I genuinely think she herself was still coming to terms with things, so she didn't necessarily process the full impact before talking to Curly, and a lot of what happens occurs after they're laid off- like this delves into personal interpretation but I genuinely think Anya only registered Jimmy as a serious danger after his outburst towards Curly. Ofc my interpretation is limited bc of the limited pov in game and not having gone through what she has, but it personally reads more akin to coercion over time than a singular Obviously Violent incident (like. Not to say that Sexual Assault isnt violent in nature, just that coercion often specifically works to obfuscate the fact it is a form of violence.) The layoff is a Massive catalyst for her bc of Jimmy, in that she now has a very clear understanding of his capacity for aggression.

To extrapolate a little from the "Dead Pixel" conversation, she starts by saying she Likes The Screen (even though it's fake). While Curly has his quotes about the pixel "not ruining the illusion" which. Y'know is Symbolic Of His Flaws. She doesn't say the pixel ruins it, just that she can't get it out of her mind.

If we take the pixel to represent her Or jimmy, either way the way she talks about it kind of downplays things, like it's a Minor Thing that's Slightly Upsetting, but she's still okay with the big picture. Idk I could be 100% wrong but that is my take

Besides that, Anya tells curly she's pregnant 2 days before the crash, and it isn't until she outright states it that he starts Putting The Pieces Together. I want to note, he says "I'd do anything" and "this doesn't have to go on our performance evals" 1. Before he knows shes pregnant 2. Under the assumption she might attempt suicide, and I doubt he even thought about her using the gun on anyone else before she brings that up. He says literally before the line where she tells him she's pregnant that "being laid off isnt a reason to hurt [herself]". Like I've seen ppl talk about the performance evaluation thing like it's about her and jimmy, but I think he's referring to (his belief) that she might attempt suicide or similar which might genuinely be a consistent thing he's seen her struggle with, given she's able to go through with it. Also just to note: assuming their society is like ours (hellish) reassuring her he won't blab Abt her mental health is like. Genuine reassurance- lots of mentally ill ppl will Not Open Up bc it could have long term consequences (like. For example. On employment) ANYWAYS I hope it doesn't come off like "Curly never failed Anya" but rather "Curly approached this specific situation without the context of why Anya is panicking and (possibly validly) assuming she's dealing with a very different issue"

Also let me say again the time frame is 2 days. We don't Really see what happens, but we know Anya tells Jimmy without Curly knowing. I genuinely believe he maybe didn't do a Great Job in those two days (the fact he says Anya should've talked to Him before telling Jimmy is uhhh. Mm. 1. Your job to create an environment where she comes to you my man 2. Weird to tell her what she should do with HER OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION) but like.

I get a lot of ppl want immediate consequences but consider that they can't really get rid of Jimmy (co pilot. Which is. Y'know it's Own Problems) but also like. Curly knows Jimmy, and we know that Jimmy tends to lash out. Curly should probably Not Confront Jimmy Unless He Knows Exactly How To Keep Him From Hurting Anya. Like I'm not an expert but this is something genuinely important- when confronting an abuser you NEED to take into account the impact it can have on their victim, and sometimes for the victims safety you need to wait until you have a Solid Plan. It sucks but it's important.

And theres discussion to be had about Curly kinda going along with Jimmy saying "well what if we all died" and like. I do believe he Didn't Realize What Jimmy Said. Like he was just processing/trying to keep the situation under control (and failing because he underestimated how willing Jimmy was to hurt everyone including himself).

Like he's definitely an enabler but I would say his problems are mostly before he understands the gravity of the situation, in that he's friends with Jimmy and assumes the best of a man with abusive tendencies, and fails to create an environment that can keep Anya and the others safe. Like, he definitely doesn't handle in game events perfectly (psych evaluation for one- he does do it instead of Anya which is actually helpful, but he still treats it like. Weirdly.)

Idk I have a lot of thoughts about this game and I don't necessarily want to defend Curly but more like. Anya's situation is very delicate (and light on details) so sometimes the way ppl talk Abt it feels like they aren't actually focused on what she wants and what it means to prioritize her safety y'know?

Edit bc I just now figured out kinda how I want to word it: curly is an enabler and making things worse bc he doesn't put a stop to Jimmy's BS, but in the specific scenario we see in game I think he's trying to use his Skillset of like, people pleasing not for Jimmy's sake but for the crews (like "if I nod my head and say I sympathize he won't lash out and hurt them") which like. There are situations which that is unfortunately the safest option (on an individual level yes, but sometimes it's also necessary to prevent abusers lashing out in response toward ppl who are more vulnerable) but it was the Wrong Choice.

It's like. I think Curly was trying and had good intentions, and understood that he needed to protect the crew, but he didn't have the toolset/experience to realize he can't Just go along with things and that he needs to be able to set hard limits, even for ppl he likes and trusts. Like he failed but the failure was "for want of a nail", where it began way before what we see (for want of an understanding of power dynamics I guess.) Again, don't think this makes curly more forgivable or whatever, I just think he's a good example of trying to make the right choices when you never realized you'd have to make these kinds of decisions and therefore are unprepared and/or unaware

Second edit: personally I don't think you can really incapacitate jimmy without there being serious risk (again he's the copilot) but curly should've given Anya the gun when she told him Abt the pregnancy

#Mouthwashing spoilers #Rape ment #Suicide ment #SA ment #Yeah. Pronouns were kicking m fucking ass in this post. Names also bc I once called curly jimmy #if I write to much my brain stops cooperating with words #Idk. The way she brings up the locks in my mind sounds a little less like #Singular Incident and more. The lack of locks is a Very Important Boundary That's Missing #That feels like it often leads to the erosion of other important boundaries especially when someone abusive #Is specifically pushing those boundaries. Idk again. My take on it #And while Anya says ''i told you'' a part of me thinks she told him like. Y'know vaguely about the situation but probably didn't #Characterize it as assault (bc even if he didn't believe her I don't think he would ask ''who'' if he remembered her telling him #That his friend assaulted her) and was maybe not interpreting it as assault herself bc she was trying to rationalize it #Bc she's in a very isolated situation for over a year in a place where Two Whole Rooms Have Locks.#Realizing she was in the cockpit (has a lock) when Curly is assuming she's suicidal (or at least going to hurt herself)#And then she's in the medbay (has a lock) when she actually. Y'know #Idk I'm fully up to debate this. If someone has good reasoning why curly is actually worse than I think he is I'm all for it #I'm just trying to like. In the context of my beliefs understand the actions he takes and how they fit in within the timeframe #But legit watching a chronological playthrough helps A LOT bc like. Game is super impactful nonlinear #But like. That's not how the characters experienced it and it really fucks with the timeline of events intuitively #Anyway again. If u hate curly that's entirely understandable I just want to try and organize my thoughts while keeping #The timeline and my view of events relatively straight. Feel like there's sometimes a lil too much focus on how the men failed Anya #When we should focus on what Anya's needs and wants are. Which ofc from our POV characters are Hard bc. It's curly and jimmy #But still it's worth trying to understand her better than they do #Game that makes you think so much your brain becomes mouthwash

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themyscirah · 1 year ago

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Amanda... I miss her.

But I don't trust a single person to write her other than Ostrander/Yale. Like I don't trust them to do it right. Because like it's easy to write her being shady and manipulative and involved in secret government conspiracies. That's what she does. But it feels so hollow once you've seen her character in the way Ostrander describes it. Like she is a woman who is desperate and trying to do what she thinks is right. She has found a place of power (as a fat Black woman in the 1980s) and is doing anything she can to fight and hold onto it as powerful and ambitious men try and steal it from her. So she doubles down. She doubles down on the shady deals and the broken promises and the violence and she destroys her enemies, and loses a part of her soul in the process. And then some other ambitious politician rises up and the process repeats itself over and over and over again as each time she loses more of her morality and more of her soul and more of the respect her colleagues had for her. In place of that she gains more power, she gains fear, and an even more badass reputation. Until by the end of the book the villains begin to understand/sympathize with her more than the heroes ever will. Like THAT is who Amanda Waller is. It may happen subtly, it may happen over a longer period of time but that descent is a critical part of her character! She is a tragic character! And I feel like every perception of Suicide Squad I've seen outside of the original has her as this static villainous snapshot which is just untrue to her core imo. Like she is not a hero. But she is also not JUST a villain. She is a highly flawed character who is always descending farther and farther into villainy as she is led there by what she believes is right.

#maybe the problem is there isnt as much of a side cast in the later suicide squads from what ive seen.#bc the reactions of the government workers and prison workers are CRITICAL in this #also like. suicide squad isn't all villains guys. its a mix of prisoners and government workers with various moralities who can all general #ly join together in one thing: hating amanda waller #GOD I-#so many feelings abt her #also like lemme know if people think shes actually done okay in non 80s comics bc from what ive seen and the vibe it gets it seems bad #maybe i should go back to the 80s i probably missed some appearances there #but 80s plots are so annoying though 99% of the time its either new gods space shenanigans but weirder or visits to a made up country #obviously based on real ones which are then used for cold war propaganda #hgggggg #but like you can tell so easy when ppl dont get her. bc theyre all like amanda waller (derogatory) when REALLY its waller (derogatory)#(affectionate) (derogatory). at times with another affectionate or derogatory (or repeat of both) thrown in at the end #amanda waller #suicide squad #the suicide squad #dc meta #dc comics #blah #she gets painted as this 2 dimensional villain when to me shes literally like the hero of a greek tragedy #tonight is an amanda waller thoughts kind of night ig

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dazzelmethat · 5 months ago

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Long time no Bud. Wow the last time I made her a ref was 2018. I experimented some with her pallet. Unsure if I like the profile head but oh well, open mouthed anime inspired profile faces are notoriously hard for a reason.

Sigh. What am I going to do with her.. my writing conundrum workshopping in tags. My tag rant mentions plot related suicide and ableism (in relation to the zombie trope).

#my art #my ocs #ft the irises #tw suicide #tw ableism #sh e the yello one. can you tell she's thematically yellow?#as i don't care about 'spoilers' anymore because i'm doubtful i'll ever get to finish my writing stuff i'll just dump my writing hangup her #i think she's probably about 18 here (physically)#beware the in the tags plot includes suicide and ableism (in relation to the zombie trope)#Bud's voice specifically is tricky.. as Vera (the ghost) left her body (bud) when she was 10.#And vera took all knowledge (memories and words and thoughts) with her when she left.#and bud had to start mentally from scratch after rising from the dead. thus being interpreted as a 'zombie' sort of monster #Vera hatess Bud as hate of the self/ hate of the physical/ hate of the unintelligent (vera is in the wrong here. but she's complicated)#((lol can you tell why vera named herself that haha))#i want her to prompt characters/people to reininvestigate how they think of 'brainless zombie' tropes in relation to ableism but--#but i am doubtful of my writing ability and should probably change what i have going on to something less risky #originally when i was 12 and i first made them all bud was purely a chaotic antagonist. and i have def moved past that #12 yr old me expressing my suicidal idealization by having Vera absolutely hate her old body #and bud (formerly xqi for askew iris in middle/high school) being the body that was rightfully thrown away #but now that i'm past that all.. i need to make bud a character that can actually take up just as much importance as the other 3 irises #do i have the writing skills to do that? who knows.. Bud isn't even a 'main character' the way vera is. should i still try?#even if i never wind up trying and this conundrum stops me forever.. at least these blorbos can live in my head u_u #might delete the tag rant later if i feel self conscious enough about it :/#shrugs profusely #any suggestions are welcome. join me in untangling this gordion knot if u want ashdfhasdfjldf

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picaroposting · 6 months ago

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look okay it's bad to erase marvin's canonical sexuality and the fact that She Likes Men but i literally genuinely with all my heart think that she is a trans woman

#the repetition of in trousers = gender roles forced on him #i'm still alive and sick of counting #something's missing in my life... i have a family #i love being marvin SHE IS SOOO IN DENIAL #banging his groin with his fist #SHOULD HIS MOTHER BE BLAMED.#i tell him he's a person- he says i'm just ridickalous #btw she is literally distancing herself from her body and sense of self... man i can't begin to express how feral i am about this.#uhm also projecting onto miss goldberg because she is “perfect womanhood”#miss goldberg is transition goals #no literally she's obsessed with her !!!!#“made me what i am today” COME ON. FUCK.#also the constant references in both in trousers and falsettos to marvin being a boy. internalised transphobia you will never understand her #she's so attached to the women in her life and fails to be a “good man” for them as she tries to fit herself into a typical male role #and she's unclear and simplistic over typical male family roles (eg “daddy makes good money // that's what daddy's for)#“listen i'm a bastard bummer with a penis” she's so in denial my lord #a person who likes to lie too much SHE IS LYING TO HERSELF 😭#i try too much to impress other people #her suicidal thoughts as well! she is contantly thinking about how she will die or what will happen when she dies or whatever #LITERALLY DEADNAME.#how the body falls apart first the groin and then the heart..! she literally only considers her value as a man to be her groin #and even then she fucking hates it #uhm and also i feel him slippimg away. of course you do #“HE” is liyerally dying.#“people might ask does he feel awful that and was he grieved”#i'm done i'm tired now. maybe more coming soon #also pavelkaramazov if you see this *I* sent the in trousers ask i was just on anon because i hate my main blog #in trousers #marvin trilogy

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sholb · 6 months ago

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like even if lestat saved louis, even if he loved claudia, even if he was coerced to be a part of the trial and absolutely none of his contributions were given of his free will, you get that he should have killed himself. right? like he should have killed himself before allowing himself to be used to murder his daughter. like the fact that he broke script proves he had at least a modicum of free will and he should have used that time to do something productive, like killing himself

#like even operating under the most charitable lense of lestat's character: he still should have killed himself #he should have tried and died to save claudia too #iwtv #and i know louis probably would have died but are u fr going to tell me after 2 seasons of louis being suicidal over claudia #that he would rather be saved in her stead #this isn't about what needed to happen for the story either this is about lestat's moral imperative to KILL HIMSELF

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the-lark-ascending69 · 9 months ago

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> be a robin buckley fan

> be lesbian

> project on robin

> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic

> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve

#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!''#i have several grips about that interpretation #going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply)#to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take #a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his #inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect #him to be that smart #but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way #it fine #what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao #who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3)#3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too #like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's #rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc #the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved 😭#also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw #unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it)#like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her.#she's his friend.#but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones #where's the love for my babygirl 😭😭#anti steddie #not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone #edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel #drowned in st3ddie posts #like something isn't right here

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dyke-mecha · 27 days ago

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God I'm still thinking about talking to my mom about how rough everything's been. And her saying "at least you're not in pain" when all I've done for the past months is complain about the pain I'm in. And I Get that she's in a lot of pain rn and meant it as a "at least you're not in my situation" way, but. Come on now.

#/also ngl id rather have her broken hip than all of my bullshit #/at least my hands would be fine. at least id know what pain i would wake up to instead of playing shitass fuck you roulette each day #/when she said that i was just so. shocked that i didnt reply--which she took as me agreeing with her #/also feels like shes just. not taking anything i say seriously*. accidentally told her a bit about my paranoida #/specifically how on the bus back to the guesthouse i was so convinced everyone was watching me that i almost threw up from the fear of it #/and her response was 'yeah people are watching you'#/cool. thank you. very obviously what i needed to hear when i was distressed about exactly that #/the only time she ever takes anything seriously is when i tell her im actively suicidal #/which im not really right now. but everything else i say she just brushes off #/do i need to die first for her to finally understand that I Am Struggling?#/or saying she hopes my friends will get mad at me for **. when thats so obviously the opposite reaction anyone should receive then

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 2 months ago

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I love being trans I think I should explore my parents very strange machine that was designed to view a world unseen. and rearrange my molecules

#remembers suicide jokes ar e bad for my mental health. i think we should all die #sorry. still sick. feeling bleak. whatever.#really fuckingnhoping my college friend calls off hanging out this weekend because i think i would rather die than talk to her rn #(very politically focused mind. doesnt know im trans. will call me “girl” and “nickname of my birth name that isnt mac” the whole time)#(n im afraid i might just fucking snap and tell her which would be better for me in the long run but also the timing. i think i should die)#head inhands

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werebutch · 1 year ago

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I cannot believe she was laughing at me because I was crying. Why am I still friends with her if she treats me like this. Protecting her. It’s been going on for so long I feel like this is like the last straw. I don’t know. I hope I don’t forget this because I tend to feel better later and just brush it off and continue to be friends.. I hope I can keep letting her know that her behavior has lasting effects. I’m tired of this

#one time she told me I’m worthless and should die because I came home with her Wendy’s order slightly wrong #and then she threatened suicide again 😭#I don’t know who raised her to be this way. it wasn’t me or my parents. I think it’s her friend group. pretty sure it’s full of incels and #‘I don’t owe you anything’ kind of freaks #she will scream in my face but when I cry or yell back she tells me I’m verbally abusing her. I don’t do name calling I don’t overly #insult her.#but I forgot. of COURSE. I should have known that she’s the one being abused by everyone else. that argument really holds up. sure.#sorry I am still seething from it 😭

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suncattle · 6 months ago

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Wow. What a miserable disgusting vile person

#marco yell #new block list addition ^-^#imagine stalking and telling a homeless suicidal trans woman whos clearly having an episode that her being alive is inherently abusive #AND THINKING YOURE IN THE RIGHT #because what? you had a bad ex? the fuck does that have to do with the price of butter #shut the fuck up and leave her alone if you don't like her #“i dont like this woman so im gonna stalk and cyberbully her in the middle of a suicidal episode so i can try to get her to kill herself”#i think YOU should die 🫵#BUT IM NOT GONNA HARASS YOU OVER IT JACKASS IM USING THE FUCKING BLOCK BUTTON #anyway just ranting ^-^

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themyscirah · 10 months ago

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Suffering more than Jesus atm (being a fan of 80s/90s Suicide squad in 2024)